Tuesday, July 12, 2011


My last post was sort of (well, really) whiny. To fix that mindset, I stood in front of the mirror every morning and complimented myself. It had to be something different each day, and it had to be sincere. After all, if I wouldn't lie to one of my friends, why should I lie to myself?

Doing this has made me realize a lot of other things that I've done, or things that are different than before. For example, I can tolerate more foods now--like milk! Before, I couldn't stand the stuff. It had to be chocolate milk, or I had no chance of being able to force it down. And then there's that other food I've been working on, sushi. I have wanted to like sushi for what seems like an eternity. I mean, it always sounds like a good idea. And today, I had a California roll again for the first time in a few months, and I liked it! This girl is excited. Another newly appreciated place is Starbucks. I am so excited to be getting closer to drinking real coffee.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to force myself to start liking everything that I want to. Carrots? Nope. I want to like carrots, I really do. After all, they're good for you, and they're an easy snack food. I just can't do it, though. Don't get me wrong, I'll still eat them in the hopes that maybe I'll like the next bite. But I'm still waiting.

This morning, I had my entire life for the next semester flipped upside-down. One of my best friends has decided that she won't be going to my school next semester. I'm thrilled that she's found something that she really wants to do (go to pastry school). I've been praying about that for ages. I was just really shocked that she hadn't told me until now, when she's known for 2 or 3 weeks already.

I think the biggest thing about that, though, was that I realized that this just may be another lonely semester. I don't know why I'm so broken. I don't know why I have trouble connecting with people and bonding. I don't know why I have so much difficulty making friends. This pity party is now over.

I've also decided that I need to start standing up for myself. Completely unrelated, but I would love it if someone would keep me accountable and ask how that's going.

I get the keys to my apartment on Monday! Moving little stuff down with my mom right away, then moving everything else who-knows-when. Either whenever my dad can do it or whenever my boyfriend can. It'll get done though. I'm not allowing myself to freak out about the fact that my summer is disappearing and has basically disappeared already.

32 pounds down!

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